Breathing my baby out (First time mum)

​When I first heard about a Doula, I was about 36 weeks pregnant with my first child. The nerves of labour were kicking in at that point and I was receiving so many different comments from women about their personal experiences like “the pain is 100000x worse than period pain” “you’ll be screaming and kicking and wanting to push him out!” and the list goes on. The expectations were high, and I generally had no idea about what or how anything worked.
 
A friend of mine had told me about Hamida (my doula) and what she does and kept pushing me to call her up and at least get a prenatal class done if I didn’t want her in the labour room with me. I did not fully articulate the purpose of having a doula and honestly felt like it was a waste of time. Regardless, my friend insisted so much I decided to call Hamida and book her in JUST for the purpose of the class with no intention of taking it further. Even then the thought of the class was “meh.. not so into it”.
 
I got into contact with Hamida the doula and once she heard I was 36 weeks pregnant she did not waste a second in coming over for the prenatal visit. All I can say is WOW. WOW. WOW. I did not expect the prenatal visit to give me the confidence, excitement and motivation for birth as much as it did! The amount of things I learnt about the anatomy of birth, my rights in the hospital, the different options of pain relief and the pros and cons, different strategies to deal with labour pain, acupuncture, the tens machine, benefits of aromatherapy and so so so much more! In addition, to my surprise, the nurturing and caring personality of Hamida and the way she spoke about birth so passionately influenced me to want her with me in my labour room. She walked in a complete stranger talking about something so personal and walked out as someone who I felt I NEEDED with me.
 
From that visit onwards Hamida continued to be on call/message and was there to answer all my questions supported with evidence-based research. We wrote a birthing preference map together on what I wanted and didn’t want during labour and we also came up with a Plan B and C in case thing did not go as planned (in case I had to do an emergency c-section etc). My plan was to go for a completely NATURAL birth. Writing my preferences made me feel like I still had options and choices to make no matter what the situation was, which was empowering.
 
Fast forward in time I was exactly 39 weeks pregnant when I showed early signs of labour at 2.30am. I contacted Hamida immediately who responded right away and assured me that I was in labour. She checked up on me throughout the night and guided me on what to do and the signs to look out for. Early in the morning at about 8am I had vomited twice and informed her, she immediately rushed to my house as it was a sign of transitioning to the next stage of labour. This is when the magic happened. By that point I was well into my labour and my mother and husband were there, my contractions were strong, long and regular. Hamida set up the tens machine on me which was my ABSOLUTE LIFE SAVER. I honestly think if it were not for that I would not have been able to labour at home for so long let alone not take any sort of pain relief.
 
Fast forward 2hrs, Hamida by my side massaging me and conducting different therapies and strategies for me to relax. 10am and my contractions were SO much more intense and a lot longer. Hamida suggested I ring up the hospital for them to get a room ready for me and they told us there were no rooms available at that point. We both decided I will continue to labour at home. After 30min I could not handle it anymore, so we rushed to the hospital at 11am where things just escalated.
 
There were no birth rooms vacant and Hamida did not waste a second on waiting for me to be taken to one. She asked the midwives if they could get her a mat and ball (by that point I could not stand and felt comfortable on the floor only). The midwives kept suggesting I walk around to loosen up my hip muscles, but I could not get myself to stand. Hamida got me to rest on the ball as she circled it and guided me to sway my hips in the same motion as the ball to loosen my hips. That was very relieving. I immediately went into my last stages of labour with the tens machine on the highest setting helping with pain management.  Hamida was by my side reminding me to breath out and in and listen to my body’s cues. At some points, the midwives told me to push a little harder but Hamida would whisper to me to follow my own feelings and cues of my body. Which I did. And I am so glad I did because after about 6 urges I finally felt the full urge to push my baby out. I was aware of everything. I did not scream, I breathed until I breathed my baby out. I listened to every word Hamida was telling me. It was the most beautiful experience.
 
She did not leave me there, she visited me about 2-3 weeks after giving birth and gifted me with lactation cookies and teas and a little essential oil kit to help my little bubba with fevers, nappy rash etc. It was a much-needed visit as I was experiencing mild postpartum depression with my son suffering from colic, me developing mastitis and the sleepless nights. The support I was given before and after pregnancy as well as during labour was absolutely AMAZING. The passion and dedication doulas have towards birth and the way they make you feel empowered and strong is so so important.
 
I honestly think if it weren’t for my doula, the knowledge she shared with me and all of her help and guidance I would not have had such a positive experience and would have probably ended up going to the hospital earlier, relying on epidural or gas, screaming and tensing in my labour and listening to the midwives to push when I didn’t know that I didn’t have to. Would I hire her again? Hell yes! Even though I know so much I am aware that every experience is different, and I can be forgetful and too caught up in the moment to remember what I know during labour.
 
My perspective on birth has changed completely. Not just mine but my husband as well. He didn’t want to be in the room the last stages because he expected it to be chaos with screaming and out of control scenes but in my case It was the complete opposite and he loved being there the entire time. My mother’s perspective has also changed! Before giving birth, she thought I was over doing it with the birth research and having a doula, she told me no matter what it will be painful, and I won’t be able to control anything. Now she always urges our pregnant friends and relatives to hire a doula!
 
Alhamdullilah for such an amazing experience.
 
Hamida, my doula, I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for me <3